Avengers X Reader, Take Them to Church
by Soli Deo Gloria
Summary: Imagine taking Tony, Thor, Bruce and Tony to church with you.


You might not be an official SHIELD agent, but your father had worked for them in the past. After Hydra and SHIELD were taken down you and your family took in refugee agents and hid them from hydra, and the rest of the world, in your families conveniently out of the way cottage. It was perfect for any SHIELD agent that needed to lay low in the area.  
It just so happened at this time that your cottage is in use by non-other than the Avengers. They had word that a hydra base is nearby and are using the large log cottage as a base while trying to flush out the enemy. You are host, cook, janitor and pretty much supervisor, occasional parent when the team bickered, which was not what you signed up for.  
Sunday is a down day. The A team is in need of a break after all the stressful days of getting nowhere. You had awoken bright and early dressing yourself with a bit more care than usual and you were getting ready to leave while making muffins and coffee for everyone's breakfast.  
Tony Stark is the first to enter, following his nose to the fresh baked scent. He sees you are hurriedly displaying the muffins and placing coffee cups out for easy access, and he keenly observes your change of outfit. "And where are you going?" Was his greeting. "A date? A little early don't you think for a randevu."  
"Not likely." You respond as you brush flour off your black apron. "I'm going to church."  
Just as you say that, Thor walks in being drawn by the smell as well. "Church? A religious ritual some humans practice. I have heard of such things. Is it an enriching experience?"  
"Sure." You say not really knowing how to respond. "Some people don't, and some people flat out refuse to believe it." You happen to glance at Natasha Romanoff when she enters as you speak.  
"How do you know what I believe?" Natasha says a bit defensively.  
"I might not be a super hero, but I do pick up on things by listening." You say with a bit of sass.  
"What are we talking about?" Steve Rogers inquires as he enters the now crowded kitchen, those muffins really did draw everyone in.  
You get a bit nervous with all the attention on you and so do not respond.  
"Church." Tony supplies as he takes a bite of his blueberry bakery. "Our caretaker here is off to see the heavenly Father."  
Steve looks straight at you. "You're a Christian?"  
"Wasn't it obvious?" You ask rather ashamed no one knew.  
There was a long silence, some shrugged or glanced away.  
"Well, I'm going to be late." You say making your way to the back door.  
You hear Tony saying sarcastically behind you. "What, you're not going to invite us?"  
You turn around to glance at everyone. "Do you want to come?" Not expecting anyone to reply the affirmative.  
The next thing you know you are driving in your rusted old truck down the gravel and paved roads to your local small church. Steve, Tony, Bruce and Thor are with you, while Natasha and Clint had declined wanting to follow up on a lead they had.  
You say nothing on the way, except when answering anything directed at you.  
"Are you sure this is safe?" Bruce asks again, unconvinced.  
You reply, "As sure as I can be. Only older folk come here; people who don't post everything on the internet—Don't even know how to work computers and cell phones—and might not even recognize any of you. Even if they do, it is small enough that I can ask them to keep it to themselves."  
"You trust these people?" Thor sincerely asks.  
"Yes." You say turning into the gravel parking lot.  
"Why, because they are Christians? You Christians have some sort of Christianese code?" Tony says with his usual tasteless humor.  
You smile at him as innocently as you can muster. "As a matter of fact, we do." You exit the truck immediately after, leaving them to ponder that.  
Inside the log church you quickly find places to sit. Everyone, besides you, are wearing disguises, of course hats are out of the question for the men, but sunglasses and bulky sweaters suit fine. You wave and make small talk with some of the congregation, passing off the men with you as friends of the family.  
The service begins with announcements and a hymn, you show the avengers how to use the hymn books and hold back giggles listening to Thor trying to sing along. During the sermon you watch Steve snatch Tony's phone from his hands. Why Tony came at all is a mystery since he can't sit still and critiques everything that is going on around him. You have to explain to Thor in whispers what the sermon means while listening to Tony complain about the sermons theology. When it came to communion you almost have a mental break down trying to explain the body and blood of Jesus and why everyone is partaking of it to Thor. Once he realizes it is actually wine and bread he drains the communal cup and asks for another.  
Steve is the better behaved having grown up respecting everything and everyone and being an altar boy. Bruce is just quiet the entire time, making you wonder what he was thinking and almost a little afraid something was upsetting him. Tony is obnoxiously noticeable as he squirms in his seat and apparently does not know how to whisper. Thor, although trying to be respectful and cooperative, has trouble understanding all of their customs of sitting still and not rejoicing loudly. He also does not know how to whisper.  
The last hymn _'I'll Fly Away'_ got the congregation stomping and clapping singing at the top of their lunges. It amuses and entertains the odd group of strangers, and Thor looks most pleased. At the end while you are making conversation with anyone who wanted to talk to you, odd glances are tossed at the A team.  
"What is everyone looking at?" You ask Steve glancing around nervously from where you stand in the middle of the church.  
"I think it's Tony trying to get a signal on his phone." Steve nods back to their pew.  
You both glance over at Tony stretching one arm up over his head like a lunatic while flirting with a girl younger than you. The girl's mom is not impressed and drags her girl away.  
"Or maybe it's Thor…" Bruce suggests, from behind you, pointing at the muscular man.  
"Oh…" You blush and cover your mouth as you stare.  
There is Thor, standing at the alter reaching up to grab the wooden cross hanging on the wall. He is directing his inquiry at the pastor. "What sort of weapon is this that your people revere? It is not a heavy piece. Is it for work or war?"  
"For both." You say as you approach taking the cross from Thor's hand and handing it to the pastor. "Sorry about that. We should be going." You say pointedly to Thor, tugging at the large bicep of the Asgardian. You practically have to push the three out the door and into the truck.  
As Tony sits down he says. "You know, I feel more spiritual after that. More heavenly."  
"That's just the lack of Wi-Fi and radioactivity clouding your head." Steve responds.  
"Or the lack of fan girls following him around." You join in. "It is probably good for him."  
"Or more likely to drive him insane." Bruce interjects.  
"Ha. Ha. You are all a comedy troop." Tony rolls his eyes under his sunglasses.  
You had hardly pulled out of the parking lot when you hear and feel shifting in the back. "Move over." Tony grumbles.  
"Thor is hogging the entire seat." Bruce complains.  
Thor's voice cannot be missed. "It is not my fault. These car machines are far too small for my superior size."  
"Superior… Really?" Tony sarcastically says.  
You sigh as you turn down the gravel road. "If you children don't behave I am turning this truck around."  
You hear Steve chuckle under his breath beside you while the three in the back go silent.  
"He started it." Tony mumbles.

The End


End file.
